Happy birthday to Candid! Yesterday, another milestone was reached, for which I am extremely grateful; thank you. January 1st, 2023 marked Candid’s first birthday, and in honour of this celebration, I wanted to take a quick trip down memory lane, and share 12 things I learned throughout this year with Candid. Clichéd, I know but to help me do that I’ll be picking a quote from each of my articles and sharing some retrospective thoughts.
1. “Welcome to Candid”: Finding my voice
“I wanted my first article to be genuine, to set the pace for what is to come. I didn’t want to feign anything but rather express myself freely. Because I struggle with that at times, I decided to throw caution to the wind and I created Candid. A safe space to share my honest reflections.”
After re-reading this quote, I am proud to say that that objective was reached. When the thought of creating Candid first sprouted, I was excited yet very anxious about publicly sharing my perspective. Yet after this year, I am very proud of what I achieved and grateful that I not only found my voice but used it.
2. “Are Interracial Relationships Proof We Need to Let Go of Race?”: Untangling my biases
“(…) projecting past traumas into the present can prevent us from establishing beautiful connections with one another. Instead of focusing on past grievances and relying on them to build our sense of self, maybe the key is to actually let them go.”
This was a topic I was eager to explore and glad I did. It was in writing about this that I was able to untangle my blockages and biases about interracial relationships because it coincides with my personal journey with my racial identity. Yet as it is said in the quote, sometimes we just gotta let go.
3. “Indigo, Clarke, and the Madonna Complex”: Dealing with art when it imitates life…a little too much
“(…) This is why Bleek’s choice made me pause: it’s such an accurate representation of the way men select the women they want to be with, which is slightly triggering. Men tend to split women into these Madonna-whore categories, decide to mess around with the “whores” knowing very well that they don’t value them as worthy partners while leaving the “Madonnas” alone until they’re ready to be with them.”
Writing about Mo’ Better Blues took a turn I didn’t expect it to. At first, I wanted to take a more philosophical/cinematic analysis approach…and that took a left real quick. Instead, what took centre stage was the psychoanalysis of the main character. As the quote explains, it was a trigger for me, and all artistic analysis went out the window. This is funny because if I were to have written this today, I would’ve stuck with a more artistic approach to analyzing the movie. But this is what this article taught me: to walk that fine line between art and life.
4. “ ‘The Bluest Eye’ vs ‘Parable of the Sower’: Pain, Suffering and the Black Experience”: Engaging with different Black experiences
“(…) Lauren’s story not only helped universalize the [theme] of pain but also helped promote a sort of optimistic realism. Trauma is constructive, always propelling her towards hopeful days. Whereas for Pecola, trauma is destructive, and she is dragged in a downward spiral.”
Reading these two books was pivotal for me. Discovering Toni Morrison and Octavia Butler opened up a whole new literary world and the stories they tell are thought-provoking and beautiful. Because I read these two books at the same time (beyond the obvious differences), the differences in the main characters that are portrayed jumped off the page. After writing the article, although critical analysis is important, I realized that there is room for multiple Black experiences to co-exist.
5. “Damn, They Don’t Make ‘Em Like This No More…”: How passionate I am about music
“Music is one of, if not the most, important cultural pillars in life. The genre(s) of music you listen to influence your mood, how you dress, how you speak, [and who] you [hang out] with. Music becomes a significant marker in building your sense of identity and discovering who you are. Music is vibration and resonates with your soul whether you believe it or not. And this is why the quality of music matters so much.”
Obviously, I always knew I loved music. But re-reading this quote made me realize my passion for it. I mean, if my very clear distaste for the current state of music as shown in the article didn’t prove it, I don’t what would. Combined with my current studies, this quote reminds me of how I truly feel about music as an important component of culture.
6. “From Woke to Awakened: The Evolution of my Racial Consciousness”: Accepting my experience
“So, in disengaging with race in this manner, I can more clearly see things and people for what and who they truly are and thus more accurately identify racism when it occurs. It gives me the space to be an independent critical thinker. (…) But I will never again let race limit how I view myself, others, or life — ever. I rather embrace human complexity and be guided by empathy. I invite you to try it on, for size.”
“From Woke to Awakened” was quite personal to me. Discussing racial identity, in general, is something that is personal contrary to what we might believe given the current climate. Tracking the progress and development of my racial consciousness was important for me to do, to accept who I am in a way.
7. “Processing Grudges Against Historical Grievances”: Relating to past convictions
“When it comes to interpreting History, acceptance is going back to my initial point: History is the sequence of human life, filled with flaws. Once the emotion fog has dispersed, rationality and critical thinking kick into gear and help us not only see things for what they are but accept them.”
In the same vein as the previous lesson, “Processing Grudges” was another opportunity for me to revisit my past convictions. Anytime I would change my mind about a certain topic due to exposure to new information, I would almost feel bad about it and try to reconcile the old with the new. But the key is to accept these changes for what they are, and not try to fit back into a box I’ve outgrown.
8. “Pose, Darling…”: Simply showing my appreciation
“Even though I watch from a distance, and I observe and I cheer from the sidelines, I live for it all. As a dancer and a fashion enthusiast, I recognize and revere the talent, the passion, and the grind that it takes to make such intricate work seem so effortless and stunning.”
This lesson was an easy one. Writing on this topic was more about expressing my appreciation and admiration for Ball culture, instead of analyzing and dissecting as usual. So yeah, this one was easy-breezy: just showing love.
9. “Is Fighting the System The Way To Go?”: Exploring an alternative way of thinking
“I understand the revolutionary and emancipatory sentiment of that phrase and I am not trying to downplay its impact. The point of asking that question is to seriously ponder the implications of what it would mean to fight the system in this day and age, to consider the philosophical implications of what it would mean to fight the system in 2022.”
Although exploring an alternative way of thinking is one of the main objectives I set out with Candid, doing so head-on with this article was challenging. We tend to get used to ideas that are “tenured” in our collective belief system. Going against the grain in that way by offering a different perspective was daunting but it opened the door to the development of my mindset.
10. “Empowered Realism: When Stepping Into Your Power Is the Key to Create Change”: Conceptualizing my mindset
“[I always] generally believed that the untapped power within every one of us is what can truly make things change for the better (very kumbaya I know). However, I came to develop and deepen my perspective and became increasingly convinced that as individuals, we are so much more capable than we think we are.”
“Empowered Realism” was a tough exercise but it allowed me to verbalize my general perspective on life, which is usually confined to my inner monologue. But it also gave me the chance to test my beliefs, and push my own boundaries. This was definitely a challenge, but one I am glad I took up.
11. “Trials and Tribulations of Standing In My Truth”: Embracing my voice
“That’s the “inner-conundrum” I was facing when writing on Empowered Realism; struggling to unwaveringly stand in my truth, vs wanting/needing my truth to be accepted. When it comes down to it, wanting people to agree with me wasn’t the problem. All I wanted was for the acknowledgement that I grant commonly-shared ideas to be granted to me. And I think I still do.”
This goes hand in hand with the previous one and was also a great way for me to fulfill one of the main goals I set for myself with Candid: to speak my truth. And although I’ve been practicing that since the first article, “Trials and Tribulations” was the last step in completing that.
12. “Cultural Appropriation Politics: When Gatekeeping Goes Overboard”: TBD
“When it comes to music more specifically, what are the rules? When we talk about cultural appropriation, the general understanding is that a cultural element is being stolen by an “outsider”. But how can that be, if culture is not something to be owned, but rather embodied?”
This lesson has yet to be discovered. Maybe more time needs to pass before it reveals itself to me. Evidently, the general theme of “considering an unconventional point of view” is applicable…but a tentative takeaway would be how this article unveiled the cultural power music has in shaping identity, especially racial identity. Delving into that was a real treat.
Final Thoughts
2022 was a fruitful year, and I am proud of the intellectual development that Candid offered me. Mostly, I am glad I allowed myself to express my thoughts and opinions without seeking constant validation — it wasn’t always easy, and it’s a constant process, but I did it. And I plan on continuing.
Thank you for your readership and support, and for tagging along for 2023!
-Violette
Happy birthday to Candid